the vineyards. It had different flavour and different name. Beer was the name he had heard. He wanted to know more about it, but could not find a way. An old deal kept him from that.
The Plain of the Seven Drops, which laid between his kingdom and Zythoklis’s (2) kingdom, had already been shared generations ago. The eastern part belonged to Philoenos and the west to Zythoklis. The boundary between the two kingdoms was a strip of land separating their vineyards. And in the center of the lane, "Crazy Donkey" had been built. That was the inn where people stayed when they travelled from one kingdom to the other. All this was included in their ancestors' agreement, and Filoenos could not change the agreement and enter Zythoklis’s land. Based on what? Could he claim that the agreement was unfair, because his land was not fertile? Of course not. There was no excuse. The whole plain was so fertile that the seven drops Zeus had thrown on the plain were enough and the first plants started to grow. Just seven drops. And the plain was named after them.
After many sleepless nights because of the mysterious trees and his wife, Circe, (3) that kept nagging, he decided to invade secretly Zythoklis’s land with some soldiers and try to find the trees. There was a chance that they would be seen, but the risk wasn’t big. There were no longer guards at the borders of the two kingdoms, because there was peace between them, thanks to their ancestors' agreement. There was trust since then. And that was the reason why Filoenos was in a dilemma, he did not want to lose the trust. On the other hand, he wanted to make Circe happy. One of the best days of his life was the day he won the duel against Zythoklis who also wanted Circe. He couldn’t bear to hear her crying and shouting that nobody cares about her and all men are pigs. He couldn’t stand it.
He chose ten soldiers and he explained their mission in a secret meeting. They had to invade secretly Zythoklis’s land, find the mysterious trees - he gave them the best description he could, since he had never seen them - and bring back some of the bottle-shaped fruits. Just some of them , because otherwise the trees would be empty of fruit and someone would notice the difference and become suspicious. And of course, they had to avoid invading the West Kingdom in a random night, but only when the darkness would be deep enough to help them hide.
Every night the soldiers hid somewhere near “Crazy Donkey”. They waited until there would be no light in the inn. They checked every window of the inn. Then, they checked if the darkness was deep enough to invade the vineyards of the West Kingdom without being seen. A week later, they got lucky. The night was cloudy and the moon was hidden. After they waited for some time to make sure that everybody in the inn was sleeping, they felt safe. It was unlike to find someone walking around in the area around “Crazy Donkey”. They crossed the border as quietly as they could and went in the western side of the Plain of the Seven Drops.
After wandering for a while, they got tired. They saw nothing but grapes around them, so they stopped searching. They sat on the soil and looked at each other. One pulled out his flask to drink some water. As soon as he wasn’t thirsty anymore, he said angrily:
-Are we sure that these trees exist? Or that they are planted in the Plain of Seven Drops? The information may be incorrect.
-You are a new kid on the block and you do not know, an older one told him. If it was just a reputation, the king would not send us here. His sources are reliable.
-I shouldn’t have chosen this place, when I decided to join the army. My father suggested to me 56 islands. He is a sailor, he knows better. And I did it just to piss him off. There you go, now, he said and gave himself a mutza (greek word).(4)
-Do not shout, the other soldier whispered. Be quiet!
-Corfu, Chios, there are so many islands. I will try to be transferred. Mykonos, why not? he continued nagging.
The others were just about to start laughing, but they were intimidated by the footsteps they heard. They turned around and saw someone approaching them with an owl on his shoulder. He held a lit torch. As the light fell on his face, he looked like a evil-eyed leprechaun with a big nose. "Argo," he said to the owl, "tell the others to go after them." The owl let out a cry and suddenly, a horde of owls began to chase the soldiers. "All of us will try to be transferred, I think" one of the panicked soldiers said, while they were running back to their territory.
The following night, the two kings met in “Crazy Donkey”. There was a secret place there where they could meet without being bothered by anybody.
-I had a conversation with the guard of the vineyards this morning, said Zythoklis to Filoenos, while his sister, Callisto, sat silent beside him.
-Do we have to discuss it in front of her? Filoenos asked, pointing to Callisto.
-Do you think you can make the rules after what happened yesterday? Whatever we say will stay here. My sister is here to learn. I don’t want her to become like ... you know who. She dragged you into this, right? How many sleepless nights did you count?
-Quite a few, Filoenos said, avoiding to look at him in the eyes. How can you know that?
-I have known her longer than you have. My sister will not become like her, he said as he pulled three fruits from his saddle bag. These are the three varieties of trees that you had to find, so that she would stop nagging. Erebus (5) , the first. It is the darkest of the dark crops. Lava, the second. It's sweet. I think she will like it more than the others. And the third variety is what we call Theros (6) . Choose one of them and tell her you fought to get it for her. She will stop getting on your nerves for a while. However, you say nothing about the other two. Is it a deal, right? Otherwise, I will not respect the agreement of our ancestors.
-Thank you. I did not expect you to be so generous.
-I am not generous. But I will not start a war because of the nonsense you put up with. And apart from that, I feel a little guilty.
-Guitly? Why? Filhoenos asked.
-When we fought for Circe, I had already seen what kind of person she was. I wouldn’t stand her for long. She would be a bad influence for Kallisto, too. I preferred my sister playing with swords and learning something useful. Why are you looking at me? Didn’t you understand? I let you win the duel back then. But don’t worry. That will stay between us as well.
Philoenos was so surprised. So much information! He needed time to put everything in order. Was he happy? Was he sad? He couldn’t tell yet. He took the lava fruit, hid it, thanked Zythoklis and left. Callisto and Zithoklis looked at him strictly. When he came out of “Crazy Donkey”, they burst into laughter.
- And that's how we avoid a stupid war, sister.
- It was easy. And now , what?
-Now, we need to know who told him about the beer-trees. In a while, Marsyas (7) will come and tell us what he knows. Luckily, he sees and hears a lot in here.
- Marsyas? He plays the flute in "Crazy Donkey", right? Callisto asked.
-He is playing the lyre now. He stopped playing the flute so that Apollo would not be angry and harm him. That's what Pythia told him to do.
-Well, what's the point of finding out, now? You told him about the beer-trees. He knows.
-We must, sister. Because if we got so close to a war because of the beer-trees, imagine what will happen when the cocoa trees come, he whispered to her .
(1) Philoenos: Φιλόοινος= φίλος+οίνος (κρασί) => friend+wine
(οίνος -> ancient greek, κρασί -> modern greek)
(2) Zythoklis: Ζύθος+Κλέος (ancient greek) => μπύρα+δόξα (modern greek) => beer+glory
(3) Circe: She transformed Odysseus’s crew into pigs
(4) mutza (μούτζα): A greek gesture that resembles a facepalm. Watch the video:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a42-l-bb9oM
(5) Erebus: Deep darkness
(6) Theros: Summer
(7) Marsyas: Talented in flute, but arrogant. He thought he could play the flute better than Apollo played the lyre. They had a duel and he lost. The winner could do to the other whatever he wanted. So, Apollo skinned Marsyas alive. (My story is optimistic, Marsyas avoided the wild version, by being humble and choosing another instrument. I hope it makes sense)
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